Conduct in each direction

The Sigalovada Sutta also contains a prescription for skilful conduct for each paired relationship, which varies according to the relationship type. We list these types below, in tabular form. Whilst some of the guidance is rooted in the particular cultural context, most is generally valid and a worthwhile basis for reflection when it comes to the design of SNS functionality.

Children ->Parents

(i) Having supported me I shall support them

(ii) I shall do their duties

(iii) I shall keep the family tradition

(iv) I shall make myself worthy of my inheritance

(v) furthermore I shall offer alms in honour of my departed relatives

Parents ->Children

(i) they restrain them from evil

(ii) they encourage them to do good

(iii) they train them for a profession

(iv) they arrange a suitable marriage

(v) at the proper time they hand over their inheritance to them

Reflections:

  • The guidance here would suggest that parents and children should remain in good contact, so the usage of SNS would be an aid to that. Yet many youngsters are loath to share some details with their parents in existing SNS, so they cut them off completely. The separation of concerns in Sigala would at least allow more scope for retaining some communication.
  • Should children be using SNS? Most SNS officially disallow access to minors, though in practice many use the system anyway. If the same functionality is available to everyone, then there is an intrinsic problem with usage by children. On the other hand, if there are good grounds for usage, then by restricting the classes of functions to a subset of the 6 dimensions safeguards can be put in place and make such usage feasible.
  • Arranged marriages may seem strange to some in the West, but they are still widespread in the world, so the implication is that individual dating sites may be completely insensitive in some cultures. In incorporating traditions old and new, Sigala might provide a better architecture.

 

Pupil -> Teacher

(i) rising from the seat in salutation

(ii) attending on them

(iii) eagerness to learn

(iv) personal service

(v) respectful attention while receiving instructions.

Teacher -> Pupil

(i) they train them in the best discipline

(ii) they see that they grasp their lessons well

(iii) they instruct them in the arts and sciences

(iv) they introduce them to their friends and associates

(v) they provide for their safety in every quarter.

Reflections:

  • There can, of course, be more than one teacher. Furthermore, the concept can be broadened to a very specific teaching role such as piano teacher, language tutor, sports coach.
  • Notice how group membership follows on through the teacher’s network

 

Husband -> Wife

(i) being courteous to her

(ii) not despising her

(iii) being faithful to her

(iv) handing over authority to her

(v) providing her with adornments.

Wife -> Husband

(i) she performs her duties well

(ii) she is hospitable to relations and attendants

(iii) she is faithful

(iv) she protects what he brings

(v) she is skilled and industrious in discharging her duties.

Reflections:

  • As presented here this is an asymmetric relationship, the fixed allocation of roles is generally not acceptable to many today.
  • Yet the qualities are all worthy and it can be argued that they are complementary and harmonious, rooted in selflessness.
  • In what circumstances would SNS be of use to spouses? This would probably be indirectly in terms of other relations – as mentioned with regards to hospitality.

 

Householder ->Friends and Associates

(i) liberality

(ii) courteous speech

(iii) being helpful

(iv) being impartial

(v) sincerity.

Friends andAssociates -> Householder

(i) they protect him when he is heedless

(ii) they protect his property when he is heedless

(iii) they become a refuge when he is in danger

(iv) they do not forsake him in his troubles

(v) they show consideration for his family.

Reflections:

  • This is the dimension that has traditionally provided the mainstay of SNS and the one that is most amenable to online activity.
  • Such sincere and conscientious behaviour requires restraint.

 

Master ->Servants/Employees

(i) by assigning them work according to their ability,

(ii) by supplying them with food and with wages,

(iii) by tending them in sickness,

(iv) by sharing with them any delicacies,

(v) by granting them leave at times.

Servants/Employees-> Master

(i) they rise before him,

(ii) they go to sleep after him,

(iii) they take only what is given,

(iv) they perform their duties well,

(v) they uphold his good name and fame.

Reflection:

  • The care of duty is again showing conscientiousness.

 

Householder ->ascetics and Brahmans

(i) by lovable deeds

(ii) by lovable words

(iii) by lovable thoughts

(iv) by keeping open house to them

(v) by supplying their material needs.

Ascetics and Brahmans -> Householder

(i) they restrain him from evil

(ii) they persuade him to do good

(iii) they love him with a kind heart

(iv) they make him hear what he has not heard

(v) they clarify what he has already heard

(vi) they point out the path to a heavenly state.

Reflections:

  • Metta (loving kindness) is central to the relationship
  • The priests andascetics/wanderers (sramanas) still occupy an important place in South Asian life. The Western equivalent might be priests, psychiatrists, counsellors and confidants, though only partially unless they have some perspective that transcends or renounces the world.

Articulating Cultural Context through Levels of Association

As intimated in discussions on cultural variation, for a truly international and multi-cultural service we need to draw out the distinct cultural aspects. Cultivating virtuous conduct, as expressed here, nurtures cultural authenticity and grows with deepening association.

Accordingly, we propose a framework of seven levels of successively closer association through getting to know someone as a wise friend, following modern commentary by Ven. Dattajeevo, a Thai monk on the Mangala Sutta.1,2 The seven stages are: 

  • making the initial approach
  • making yourself known to them;
  • practising sincerity towards them
  • being loyal to them;
  • helping them in times of need;
  • when free joining up to talk and eat together;
  • finally reflecting on Dhamma and getting down to earnest practice.

Assuming this model can be translated into the different social, cultural and religious contexts, then in order to reflect this in Sigala requires research into how these levels are fulfilled in the various cultures around the world. By supporting the full, meaningful development of authentic friendship across cultures, this should naturally address issues of safety and protection, whilst supporting heterogeneity of culture. Sensitivity to cultural variation underpins our service requirements.

Now we must turn to … the economics of Sigala.
 

1 A Manual of Peace: 38 Steps Towards Enlightened Living, Dhammakaya Foundation, Bangkok, 2005, p. 44
Available online from https://en.calameo.com/books/002808066f3613ec7e8e8

2 These stages are inspired in turn by the Buddha’s discourse in AN 10.83 [A. v.154], which describes successive degrees of engagement with his teachings, leading to full understanding.